Really?

I made fajitas for dinner tonight. Flat bread, mexican rice, cheese, lettuce, salsa, peppers & onions & chicken (along with random spices), served with fiesta corn. It was good. I prepared everybody one fajita. When my husband was done with his he went out to the kitchen and loaded his plate up with all of the chicken & peppers, instead of spreading the meat out with the other stuff. Then, when he finished that off he ate 4 hot pockets.

 

I’ve been asking him to get his stuff out of my son’s room. Before my son moved in with us (over two months ago) that room was my husband’s office. He STILL hasn’t moved his shit out of there. I’m getting tired of telling my son that my husband will eventually get around to doing these things he’s supposed to be doing. He’s a horrible example for my son. This makes me extremely upset and frustrated, especially when I see my husband playing video games or watching tons of tv series or movies for hours and hours on end. 

Homelessness in Atlanta, GA

 

You can’t take public transportation or even sit downtown without being approached by a homeless person.   While most people avert their gaze and ignore those living on the streets, I watch and listen. The above picture is of a man named “Mark”. I met him in Downtown Atlanta, while I was sitting outside with a friend. Mark came up and asked my friend for a cigarette, which my friend gladly handed to him. Mark sat down near us and smoked the cigarette while enjoying the mist from a waterfall wall. Seeing that I had a camera, he asked me if I was a photographer. I told him it was just a hobby and asked what he did for a living. He kind of shifted in his seat and admitted that he was homeless. He had just moved to Atlanta from New Orleans. He saw Atlanta as having more job opportunities for him, and if he just held out for 6 weeks he’d have a place to stay. Mark has been homeless for 4 weeks and he’s counting down the days until he has a roof over his head.

I asked Mark if he knew of any assistance available to homeless in Atlanta. He claimed he wasn’t aware, and that he didn’t look into it. He was a proud man. He was clean and well dressed, articulate with a spark of intelligence in his eyes. He never asked us for money, but my friend slipped him a $10 bill anyways. 

“But what if he spends it on alcohol or drugs?” 

So fucking what? That’s what I’d probably spend it on if I was homeless! It’s not like he’s going to buy a microwave oven.

$10 might help him survive another day, but it won’t help him thrive. That’s what social services are for. In the future I would like to carry information on agencies that assist the homeless so if I’m approached by somebody asking for handouts I can point them in the direction of a hand up. 

 

http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/cgi-bin/id/city.cgi?city=Atlanta&state=GA

 

I just e-mailed several organizations that help the homeless in the Atlanta area, asking for information. That way, at least I won’t just sit there, listening to their tragic stories, heart breaking, sharing their hopelessness.

 

Atheist’s view on religion (the good and bad)

First I’ll share my religious background:

My father is Catholic and my mother lacks any religious label. She’s more of a believer in psychic abilities than God. 

Until 5th grade I often went to the Catholic church with my paternal grandmother. She would say that I didn’t have to be Catholic, the church was just a good place to meet nice people. I remember it being more about chanting, incense and cannibalism than Jesus. I was more focused on trying to learn how to kneel, stand and sit at the correct times. I didn’t get it. I had no concept of it being a religion. It was a ritual reserved for the grey hairs. When I was in 5th grade I was viciously attacked by a dog. My aunt and uncle sent me a package and inside was a note thanking us for selecting them as my godparents. I remember my mother threw a fit! She didn’t know my father was planning for me to officially be Catholic. It resulted in me being written off by the paternal side of the family. 

When I was in 7th grade I got into some trouble. I ended up having to switch schools. I was sent to a private non-denominational Christian school. I went overboard trying to prove I wasn’t a bad kid, and became full on born-again for awhile. Eventually the lure of the dark side became too strong. I left the church so I wouldn’t feel guilty for having sex. 

I didn’t really think much about religion for awhile. I was too busy as a teenage mom. When I was 19, pregnant with my second child, I started going to a Unitarian Universalist church. I liked the messages there but I hated the pretentious do-gooders who would rather treat me like charity than a friend. 

I labeled myself as “Unitarian Universalist (UU)” or even “UU Christian” for awhile. By the time I was 22, however, I had read the Bible and realized the Bible was bullshit. Seriously, have you ever read that shit? It’s FUCKED UP! 

But, my grandmother’s advice of going to church to meet nice people stuck in my mind. I was 22 and a single mother to 3 children. I knew I needed some nice people in my life. I began attending a United Methodist Church. I wasn’t Christian, and I’m pretty sure those in the church were aware that I wasn’t a believer, but they kept me around. Soon enough they had me teaching “Sunday School” which was basically babysitting the toddlers while their parents attended the service. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t a Christian as long as I participated with the church and put a little money in the plate each week. 

I was okay with the situation. I did make a lot of friends through the church. It did teach some good morals. As long as we focused on the positive messages in Christianity and ignored the bad, it wasn’t horrible. 

It wasn’t horrible until I realized I wasn’t the only non-Christian in the church, and that other non-Christian was evil. He was a “serpent” you could say, coiling up and waiting to strike his prey. 

It all happened in under a minute. It was the coffee hour after the service and I was watching my daughter run around with her friends between the pews when a fellow churchgoer tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around, and she asked me if I’d be home that afternoon so she could drop off some handmedowns since her daughter had recently outgrown clothes that would fit my daughter.

I told her I’d be home, and by the time I turned back to where my daughter had been playing my little girl, just 4 years old, had disappeared. My stomach dropped. I just knew something was wrong. First I ran out to the parking lot screaming her name. The other people in the church looked at me like I was overreacting. I ran back through the church, screaming and crying. Some other parishioners began following me, not knowing what to do, or whether it was a real emergency. When I reached the back hall the other little girl that my daughter had been playing with bounded up the stairs at the end of the hallway. I asked her where my daughter was.

“I don’t know. Some man grabbed her.”

The bile started climbing my throat. I shrieked my daughter’s name, and suddenly I spotted the top of her head as she started up the stairwell that was beside me. I ran down the stairs to my daughter and demanded to know who took her. She said she didn’t know, but she pointed to the women’s bathroom where she said the man was hiding. I burst into the bathroom and I pushed open the door to a broken stall. There was the man crouched on the back of the toilet. I froze. I knew him. The other Sunday School teacher would leave him alone in the Sunday School room with her own niece and nephew. Now I realized he was a pedophile. 

Two friends in the church held me back, and led me back to their car. They drove my daughter and I home. I dropped off my daughter with her father and then there was a knock on the door. The other Sunday School teacher was there requesting I not go to the police because then it would come out that the man had molested her niece. Needless to say, I bitched her out. She had caught the man molesting her own niece two years prior and didn’t tell anybody (except the pastor who told her to keep in a secret). She continued to leave the man alone with her niece and nephew because “forgiveness is the Christian thing to do”. 

I went to the police and told them everything I knew. Three weeks went by and the church didn’t address what had happened there. The man had skipped town, and I was asked to step down from being a Sunday School teacher. I went to the pastor and Sunday School teacher directly. I asked that they speak to the other parents in the church so that they could make sure there were no other victims. I asked that they notify the parents of the little girl who the Sunday School teacher found being molested. Three weeks later the little girls mother attended Easter services with her husband and his sister (the Sunday School teacher). I pulled her aside to talk about the situation. I realized quickly she didn’t know. I had to break it to her that her daughter’s “yeast infections” weren’t actually yeast infections. We crumpled to the floor crying. After that, the pastor acted like I was the bad guy, dividing his church. I stayed long enough to personally notify all the parents in the church about what had happened, and when the pastor gave a sermon shouting a request for the serpent to leave his church I flipped him off and walked out mid-service.

It took a few months before the child molester showed up in the county again. As soon as he came back to town he was arrested. The police discovered he had been molesting that little 4 year old girl every chance he got for 2 years. He didn’t touch my daughter but he did peep on her going to the bathroom. 

I’m so proud of my daughter though. Apparently her intuition told her that guy was bad news so when she got done using the toilet she slammed the door on him and ran out of the bathroom, which is when I found her coming up the stairs. 

The man was sentenced to only 1 ½ years in jail for what he did to the other girl. He was not charged with kidnapping my daughter or peeping on her. Because that man was 17 when he was caught by the Sunday School teacher molesting the girl, though he continued molesting her for 2 years after that, he wasn’t listed as a registered sex offender. It barely made the news, and the United Methodist Church Bishop covered it up. 

That whole incident taught me that there are some not so nice people at church. The message is all fucked up, and those in the church care more about their own asses than the souls of their parishioners. They are full of lies. 

Don’t get me wrong, there are some very good messages in religions. But I have yet to hear of one that doesn’t have a dark side. I’m not willing to put up with that bullshit in an attempt to meet nice people. I’d rather rely on practicality and science than an invisible friend in the clouds. I’ve met some wonderful people who are atheist, and a few great people who are religious. I take it on a case by case basis and try not to make a judgement (either positive or negative) based on their religious label. 

Though I try to be accepting and tolerant of others rights and beliefs there are some bigotries I will not accept as “religious beliefs”. I am a strong supporter of LGBTIQQ rights. I am a women’s rights advocate, pro-choice. I support comprehensive sex education in the schools. I strongly believe Creationism should not be taught in schools but Evolution most definitely should. Slavery is NOT okay. It’s better to take action to help somebody than to pray. A person’s body is their own and should never be coerced or forced to cut/mark any part of their body (genitals included!). Circumcision of babies & children should be outlawed.

Sometimes I feel a wave of guilt for not being tolerant of certain religious beliefs. Then I remind myself that freedom from religion is just as important as freedom of religion. Religion should be a choice freely made, but it should never trump truth.

Here are a few of my favorite things!

Stolen from http://www.firstpersonnarrative.com/ , I present to you Things I Love to Talk About A-Z! I’m thinking I should cover more topics in my blog posts. Please let me know if there’s a subject on the list you’d like to hear more about:

A- Abuse, Anthropology

B- Body Image

C- Cultures

D- Drug War

E- Eccentricities

F- Family

G- Group Homes (social services), Gardening

H- Hiking

I- Immigration

J- Judgement

K- Knitting (or trying to knit, anyways)

L- Love (and all it’s types)

M- Medical Care in the USA, Midwifery

N- Nerdcore

O- Oil Pastels (my medium of choice)

P- Photography

Q- Queer Culture

R- Religion

S- Science

T- Tattoos (I don’t have one yet!)

U- Ultra-Conservatives >:(

V- Videography

W- Women’s Rights

X- Xenophobia

Y- Yoga

Z- Zeitgeist

Rescue Mission (how I got my kids back after tragedy)

In 2006 my ex husband took the kids for a weekend visitation and he never returned them. He had found out I was pregnant with my fourth child (by my current husband) and he was bitter and angry. He used the fact that I had been struggling with Lyme Disease/Babesiosis against me. Yes, I had been sick, and I had begged him for more help. There were days I was physically unable to take care of myself, let alone the children. I had my good days and bad, and I had been unsure what would happen to me in the future. After he took the kids, I tried fighting at first, but then I gave up, thinking maybe it would be best for the kids if they lived with him.

I was wrong. The first home he lived in was with a girlfriend. She abused my ex husband, and eventually kicked him out, leaving him homeless with the kids. The girlfriend stole all my kids belongings for her own kids. The second home ended up condemned and demolished. Then my ex husband found a new girlfriend, and moved in with her. I thought she was fantastic, but he broke up with her because she “played favorites” with her own children. In reality, she was cautious, and wasn’t about to create an instant blended family. My ex didn’t like that, so he broke up with her, and temporarily lived in some shitty apartment building that constantly had cops banging on doors, and cockroaches scurrying under doors. During that time (September 2007) my ex husband tried to reunite with me, but I turned him down. Then my ex husband was evicted from the shitty apartment building and he immediately moved in with a new girlfriend. They were both evicted from that place (Spring 2008?). My ex got in trouble for welfare fraud (almost $3000). Child Protection (CPS) was involved multiple times, but nothing was done to help the kids. My ex husband and his new girlfriend rented a house, and eventually that house was condemned. It was an absolute mess, with a hole in the back of the house, covered with a tarp (in Western New York weather!), cockroaches, chipped paint, hanging wires & mold climbing the walls. They hoarded animals, the house stunk, and that smell lingered on the children. CPS saw that house, and still nothing was done. My ex husband and I were talking about the kids coming to live with me, but he went back on the agreement. In early 2010, my then 9 year old daughter had enough and insisted she come live with me. My ex husband agreed, leaving him with our oldest daughter and son. After that house was condemned (2009/2010), he moved into another shit hole house, similar to the last. Meanwhile, my husband was offered an amazing job down in Georgia, so we moved there, getting a beautiful 4 bedroom home on a lake. My ex husband and I had talked about the kids moving down here with us, but he went back on his promises. In February 2011, my ex husband got caught cheating on that girlfriend with another woman, and they broke up. My ex husband moved in with the woman he had been cheating with (a former prostitute/drug addict). For awhile, my ex husband cut off all contact between the kids and I, afraid that the kids would tell me how they were living and that I’d take action against him. That Easter the kids came down to visit me in Georgia per court order, but when I went to return the kids my ex husband refused to give me the correct address. They were being investigated by CPS, and he was using a friend’s home as a front so the investigators wouldn’t see the true nature of the home. I had to return the children back to their father not knowing where the kids were living, or even if they had a home to live in. After that visit, my ex husband stopped communication between the kids and I again and I took him to court to try to get placement. I would call the kids’ schools to talk to them and make sure they were okay. I even flew up to New York and visited the kids at their school, discovering they had a nasty case of head lice. Unfortunately, my ex husband and his “witness” lied in court, and I screwed up in trying to get the evidence into court. I lost the case, which was devastating. I gave up on fighting in court after that, afraid that I would be perceived as “the bitter ex” in a nasty custody dispute. The whole time I knew that my ex would fuck up again, and one day I’d be called upon to rescue the kids. This past summer the kids came to visit with me. We had a good time, but after the children went back, my ex husband stopped all contact between the kids and I again.

Then, out of the blue, I received a text message from my ex husband. Here’s the chat log from September 8th, 2012: 

Jeremy: are you there? 5:51 PM

Me: yes 5:51 PM

Jeremy: good… this is going to be really hard for me… but you were right… Jamestown is a poison and a cancer and I’m tired of spinning my wheels here and fighting 5:55 PM

Jeremy: and trying to be productive and failing… I’m sure danika told you I was concidering moving. 5:55 PM

Jeremy: did she? 6:00 PM

Me: I didn’t know that! I’m sorry to hear you’re having a rough time. 6:00 PM

Jeremy: hello? 6:01 PM

Me: Hi. So, what were you considering? 6:02 PM

Jeremy: well my rough time is just getting worse and worse… and I am going to give you the chance to be a hero … I am so glad that the kids came back this summer wi 6:27 PM

Jeremy: th nothing but good words about their trip… I have been given a chance to move… 

 

 

We went on to talk on the telephone (between 6:02 & 6:27pm). He was in the process of sending the last text when I called him. At first I was cautious. I figured he was homeless again, which I was right. A third home was condemned. I was afraid he’d ask me and my current husband to put him and the kids up until he got a job here in Georgia. But, my dreams came true when he asked me to take placement of the kids! At first I thought it was a cruel joke. Was I being punked?! No, he was being serious. I didn’t ask many questions, afraid that I’d anger him and he’d change his mind. My ex husband said he was going to skip town to Florida that week but he didn’t have room for the kids. I could have the children if I got them down to Georgia in the next 2-3 days! 

 

Having no money saved (and it just being a rent week), and a vehicle that wouldn’t make a 1600 mile trip, I racked my brain trying to figure out how to rescue my children. That’s why I contact my mother in law (chat log below) begging for help, but she refused, even though she knew the shitty situation my children were in. I lamented to my neighbors about the situation, and during sunrise on Monday they showed up at my door:

 

“Del is taking you!”, Del being an acquaintance of mine. Our kids are best friends and he used to be a neighbor. I was shocked. My own family wouldn’t help, but here was this guy I’d only hung out with once or twice and he’s offering to drive 1600 miles to help rescue my kids! Apparently Del mentioned to my neighbors that he was looking to go on a road trip, blow some money, and take some photos (he’s a photographer). My neighbors asked if he was interested in going to Niagara Falls (which isn’t too far from where the kids were) and he said YES! So, there you have it, I had a ride to rescue my kids.

 

We left Monday evening, and drove only stopping when necessary. We arrived Tuesday morning, just before noon. I stopped by the law guardian’s office first thing for some advice on the situation. My ex husband texted me some more: 

 

Jeremy: kids are at school … thought I told you josh went to *elementary school*… he’s at *middle school* ..lol.. also cps will want to talk to the kids afterschool so they can close u 8:09 AM

Jeremy: p the case without having to transfer it to two more states. 8:09 AM

Me: Okay. I’m in town. So ill go to *middle school* this afternoon. 11:39 AM

Jeremy: yep my travel plans are finalized …as of about an hour ago. 11:40 AM

Me: What’s your plan? 11:41 AM

Jeremy: taking a bus tomorrow will be there (Florida) Friday 11:42 AM

Jeremy: the rental place needed a debit card with my name on it… my work card doesn’t. 11:43 AM

Jeremy: its going to be inconveniant. but I am pretty sure everyone will be much happier and prosperous in the end. 11:46 AM

Jeremy: what are your plans? 12:24 PM

Me: Going to get records and meet Josh at the school. Is Christiana going to meet us there? Do they have belongings? 12:33 PM

Jeremy: christiana has a bag of stuff we sent to krissy’s …josh said he didn’t want anything … christiana is supposed to meet you there at *middle school*…. she will be a li 12:36 PM

Jeremy: ttle later perhaps o will intercept her and walk there with her 12:36 PM

 

When I arrived at the middle school I explained the situation to those in the office. They weren’t aware of all of the situation, though they did admit they had contacted CPS in the past regarding some of the issues mentioned above. My son emptied out his locker, and I spoke with one of his teachers & the guidance counselor. About an hour after I arrived my daughter and her father arrived. It was a tearful goodbye. Even I cried knowing how hard it was for my children. 

 

We took a few days rest up there, going on a day trip to Niagara Falls to take some pictures. Then, we left New York yesterday morning, around 8am, and arrived home around 10:40pm. I’ve been giving the kids time to re-bond. Now I have to stock up on groceries & clean the house. 

 

I’m so happy to have the children back with me. I’ve been in a deep depression for the past 6 years, since the kids went to live with their dad. I’ve felt hopeless, I’ve felt like I wasn’t being taken seriously, I felt that my children were falling through the cracks and there was nothing I could do. Now I have hope. Though my children have experienced a lot of tragedy, they now have a brighter future.

 

Revenge of the Nerds

MC Lars is so amazing! I love this song, but more than that, MC Lars is just a really GOOD person. I met him last year when he was performing in Atlanta. How we met is kind of a funny story…

I was hanging out in front of a tattoo parlor/bar waiting for the show to start. I had arrived several hours early to ensure I found the venue and good parking. There were a couple young women nearby, and I struck up a conversation with them because I’m outgoing like that. I mentioned I brought a costume for the show (there was a nerd costume contest), and I ran back to the van to put it on. I met a guy out in the parking lot who helped me get situated in my costume and we returned to the young women. My costume was a hit! Check it out and tell me what you think:

So, I was standing around bullshitting with these peeps (haha, peeps, get it?), and some dude came out and the young women stepped aside to talk to him. I only saw him out of the corner of my eye. I wasn’t paying much attention. Well, I’m standing there with the guy who helped me get the costume on, and his eyes got HUGE. He whispered “I’m so star struck right now! That’s MC Lars!!!” I looked over at the guy and sure enough it was the nerdcore artist we came to see perform! The young women we were talking to were friends with him. So, I shrugged and said “Well, let’s go meet him!” and I tromped over there in my chicken feet.

MC Lars was so friendly! He seemed genuinely happy to meet fans. We offered to help him out folding shirts he was selling, and we talked for awhile. Of course he was flittering around preparing for the show, but he took the time to sit down and chill with us, even offering me dinner. I have to say, MC Lars is very zen-like. He has a good vibe about him. MC Chris, on the other hand is a complete dick, but that’s beside the point.

Anyways, after meeting MC Lars, I became friends with the starstruck guy. Once, I sent MC Lars a message telling him that he reminded me of Finn from Adventure Time. He got a kick out of that. I also sent him an Edgar Allen Poe pic, and he responded as well. He always makes time for his fans which is just so friggin’ amazing!
Recently, out of the blue, MC Lars sent me a message seeing how I was doing with regards to a situation I had mentioned to him once. That was so friggin’ awesome that he thought of me and followed up! I gotta say, MC Lars is one of my favorite musicians, not only because his lyrics are dope but because he’s just a good person! Check him out sometime if you get a chance!

Chat log with my evil mother-in-law

Me: Are you there? 6:38 PM Monster-In-Law: Yes 7:45 PM Me: Jeremy’s letting Christiana and Joshua move in with us!!! 7:46 PM Monster-In-Law: Thats nice. Hey the student loan people r looking for travis again. Contacting all his family members. Can he afford more? Ur behind with ur bills. 7:49 PM Me: I didn’t know that. No, we don’t have $ right now.  7:50 PM Monster-In-Law: Out now. Good luck. Hope it works out for all of u. 7:50 PM Me: Was hoping you’d be able to help get Christiana & Joshua down to Virginia & I’d be able to meet you there. 7:54 PM Monster-In-Law: I bot a house and am renovating it. Have to get it done to rent. On a tight schedule. Why r u guys broke? U need to pay ur bills and live within ur m 7:56 PM Monster-In-Law: eans. Have jeremy fly them down. 7:56 PM Me: We’re broke because TJ’s had to pay for his domestic violence classes. 7:57 PM Me: And due to TJ’s eating disorder. 7:58 PM Monster-In-Law: Ridiculous. Did u get ur job? 7:58 PM Me: No. They didn’t hire me because you had me arrested. Thanks for that. 7:59 PM Monster-In-Law: He can’t afford all this and if u don’t help him get better u will be on ur own again. U better start a career soon. It isn’t looking like a bright futur 8:00 PM Monster-In-Law: e. I asked u to disney and u don’t respond. Now this. 8:00 PM Me: I actually have a REALLY good opportunity coming up. They’re doing a background check on me, and they’re already aware of you having me arrested, so that shouldn’t get in the way. 8:01 PM Monster-In-Law: You were arrested 25 times before tgat. I saw all ur arrest records and thanks for hitting me. Goodbye. 8:01 PM Me: Fuck Disney. Help reunite the kids. 8:02 PM Monster-In-Law: I’ll take Lexi when the time comes if I am able. Good luck. 8:02 PM Me: I don’t know if you’ll want anything to do with us by then. 8:02 PM Monster-In-Law: I always will be here for Lexi. I can’t handle all the problems you guys have. It is too much for me but u guys way of life. Rent a car and come get th 8:06 PM Monster-In-Law: em. They r nice kids. Ur dad should help. He has a good retirement. I am just starting back up to work. 8:06 PM Monster-In-Law: U can fly them cheap from niagara falls on spirit to myrtle beach. Look at spirit com. And allegiant air. 8:07 PM Me: You know nothing about my dad and his situation. If you must know he’s helping cover my grandma’s medical bills right now, because she just had a stroke. 8:07 PM Me: What part of WE DON’T HAVE THE MONEY don’t you understand?! 8:07 PM Me: Are you dumb or just a bitch? 8:07 PM Me: You’re always flaunting your so called wealth. What good is it if you do nothing to help others with it? 8:08 PM Monster-In-Law: I have helped. Remember the 5k when u moved. I am not wealthy. Russ was. I just had to pay over 65k being sick. I am not rich. And I am tired of u guys 8:17 PM Monster-In-Law: always needing something. You need to save for emergencies. Not spend it all. You two won’t return my question for Jan and now when u need something. I 8:17 PM Monster-In-Law: told tj when i gave the 5k that was it. Budget ur money. That was it. Pleases don’t ask again. I want to maintain a relationship with Lexi. That is up t 8:17 PM Monster-In-Law: o you. Spirit flies niagara falls to atlanta on sundays. He should of left the kids in august. What the hell? This is too much. I have my own medical 8:17 PM Monster-In-Law: bills to pay for too, do not Ask me again for money. Tge answer is no 8:17 PM Me: 5k? What happened to the 10K and college education you promised me if I sold Alexandria to your friends?! 8:19 PM Me: And I was NOT arrested 25 times. In fact, I checked my own background. The time you had me arrested is THE ONLY THING ON MY RECORD. 8:23 PM Monster-In-Law: Go awAy. I spent it o.n being sick. My money is not ur concern Ever. Goodbye Lisa. 8:26 PM Me: Oh, that cancer from getting butt fucked? Or is it from the stick you’ve had lodged up your ass all these years? 8:26 PM

 

Side note: My mother in law walked into our home uninvited and yelled at me for not folding laundry the night before (I had a severe sinus infection). She literally backed me into a corner, and refused to leave even though I asked her to leave MULTIPLE times. I slapped her away when she came at me, and she had me arrested. Referring to other arrests, I was arrested once for fighting off my ex husband when he attacked me. I was trying to go to the emergency room for heart problems (related to a rare disease called Babesiosis that can be fatal) and he was trying to stop me because he didn’t want to miss work watching the kids while I was in the hospital. He had me on the floor, kicking me and hitting me. I was too weak that my attempts to fight him off weren’t working so yeah, I hit him with a shovel (once on the side) and made a run for it while he was doubled over. Later I got into a relationship with another man and after 7 months together, he lost his temper and attacked me. I had him arrested, and in retaliation he filed 7 false police reports against me. I was not convicted.

The only thing I’m guilty of is making bad choices in partners and defending myself.

My mother-in-law acts like we’ve asked a lot from her, which is far from the case. While she was bragging to me about lavish shopping trips and flying on private jets, I was working my way off public assistance (which I was on due to becoming temporarily disabled due to Lyme Disease) working full time and going to school full time. I never asked her for financial help. ONE TIME, last year, I asked if I could stay at her house 2-3 days, when I was stuck in town with no place to stay because the custody trial with my ex husband went over and we had to get a second court date. I live 800 miles away from her, and travelling home and then back for court was not an option. She refused to put me up for just a few days and I ended up staying with a good friend of mine instead.

Oh, that good friend? Yeah, he’s of Puerto Rican descent (born & raised in the U.S., has had the same good job for years), and my mother-in-law refused to rent to him a few years back because of his race, saying that they live in a “white town” and she was afraid people would deface her house if a Puerto Rican lived there. That same guy had lived in the town before, and her assumptions of racism against him was unfounded. It was just her own racism.

Yes, my mother-in-law went behind my back and tried to arrange selling my newborn daughter (who is now 5 1/2).

My ex husband’s home was recently condemned and he ended up homeless with the kids. Since it’s a desperate situation, I turned to my mother-in-law, hoping she’d show some kindness. I mean, really, would you think somebody (who is supposedly rich) would be so cruel that they’d rather see their step-grandkids living on the streets than provide a little financial assistance, which is just a drop in the bucket for her.

She acts like I’m a gold digger or money hungry, and makes me feel guilty for asking for help. But, when her son (my husband) was ordered to pay child support, I didn’t receive any for 9 months and didn’t make a big deal out of it, even though I could have had him put in jail. We weren’t even together at the time. He and I weren’t together, but I still opened up my home to him every 2 weeks when he came to see our daughter, visiting from University.

Her comment about asking my father for help was a dig, because she knows I was placed in a Division of Social Services group home when I was 15 due to abuse. I rarely have contact with my father, and I haven’t spoken with my mother in years.

Her ex fiance, Russ, did give us $5,000 to help us move when my husband was offered a job down south. We were prepared to pay Russ back, but he insisted it was an early Christmas gift. Russ was always kind to us.

I was working towards having a career, studying to be a midwife, but I quit school when we found out my husband was going to get this job down south. I put my dreams on hold to support her son & his dreams. We’re not poor, but we do live paycheck to paycheck for the time being, because my husband and I agreed it was more important that I be a stay at home mom. This situation with the kids is a last minute thing that was not budgeted for.

She’s playing the “Poor me, I had cancer!” card, even though she’s in remission now, and obviously she’s not financially struggling. She owns 4 homes and a plot of land she intends on building a house on. She owns several businesses, and hobnobs with millionaires and billionaires in the oil industry.

I just had to vent. Thanks for listening.